Paintball, or Skirmish, has always gotten my vote as a great way to mark the buck… oh, I mean a buck’s party. Think about it, how many of us haven’t wanted to shoot one of our mates at one point or another??!?

Shoot the buck in the ass at a paintball bucks party
Shoot the buck in the ass at a paintball bucks party

But paintball’s not just about getting outside or getting back to nature. It’s all about getting strapped with a gun stuffed full of 500 paint filled bullets, ready to be shot at a rate of knots into the poor unfortunate soul that’s decided to go and get himself hitched.

You shouldn’t feel guilty about shooting your good mate. Think of it as an important training session for his life of marriage. It’s simply preparing him for all the cheap shots that he’ll experience for the rest of his life… I won’t say who’ll be taking those cheap shots, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

There’s a whole range of games you’ll play on the day. Games you would’ve played when you were kids like War, Fortress and Cops n Robbers, using fake guns and arguing “I shot you”, “No you didn’t”, “Yes I did”… you get the drift.

Now, these were cool games when you were 10 years old, and they’re even cooler now that you’re older and have a real gun. If you mate says you didn’t shoot him, that’s OK, coz you can just shoot him again, and again, and again until he relents and admits he’s been shot and has a suite of welts as proof!

But the coolest part of choosing paintball as one of your Bucks Party activities is that you get to enlist the help of true professionals in the field of buck humiliation – the guys that operate the hundreds of paintball fields across the country.

They’ve got years of experience in developing ‘special rules’ that make sure the man of the moment remembers his special day. For example, they recognise that while wedding day is all about how the bride looks, the Bucks Party is all about how the buck looks. They’re more than happy for him to be ‘prettied up’ for the event in bright pink leotards, or better still, a rabbit suit. Carefully choose your buck’s outfit to make sure he doesn’t commit that fashion faux pas by wearing the same camo outfit as everyone else – it’s important that he stands out from the crowd.

There are paintball fields all over the place and it’s fairly likely you’ll find one near you. So rally up the troops, lock ‘n’ load and put the buck in the firing line for a day he’ll never forget!